So here I sit, 10 hours after a ruling that, in my opinion, will forever change the history of LGBTQ rights in this country. Today's ruling was, on its merits, monumental. But, today's ruling, for as far as it went, doesn't get us all of the way there. I've been thinking all day how I wanted to spend my few precious moments to talk about my feelings and my thoughts about the ruling, and I really think four separate buckets are in order. Four separate ideas that really encompass the truth in today's ruling while looking towards the future to "what's next?"
My Personal Emotions
I think a good a place as any to start is how I am feeling, personally, about the ruling. In short, I'm in shock - I'm in awe, and I am overwhelmed with positive energy. I've truly believed that marriage equality would come for all in a matter of a decade, but to realize where we stand now, on the threshold of greatness just gives me chills. This morning, as I prepared for work, I knew I would be teaching as the ruling came down. Every bit of me wanted to keep refreshing my Google News until I saw the first breaking coverage of the ruling, but I couldn't. First word of the breaking news actually came from my brother in a text message reading "hey bud, just wanted to say congratulations on today's ruling. One step closer to equality! Love you and Nate. Celebrate tonight. You two deserve it." Immediately my breath was taken away. My eyes clouded with tears, I could barely continue teaching, but I composed myself until our first break about 11:00am, where I could actually read the news on DOMA. It wasn't until the lunch break at 12:00 that I was able to discover the news on Proposition 8.
My feelings are hardly containable. I placed my first status regarding the ruling on Facebook briefly describing my happiness, and how for the first time I felt as though my life, me, as I am, was finally legitimized by my federal government. And, unfortunately, this concept got a little misunderstood. Look - I fully realize that I don't need the federal government to give approval for how I live my life. I've made peace with that. And I have fully made peace with who I am. In fact, had a ruling never come down on gay marriage, Nate and I have made plans on how that would look in the future. It is possible to have commitment ceremonies with who we are, and live our lives peacefully and happily. But, without the affirmation confirmed by the Supreme Court this morning, our relationship, our commitment to one another is not legal. It would not be recognized, and it would not be "legitimate" in the eyes of the law. But by striking down the Defense of Marriage Act, it opens the door for our commitments to one another, over time, to in fact be recognized by the federal government. It allows gay and lesbian soldiers who are legally married in states that allow gay marriage to pass their benefits along to one another, and it allows spouses who die off to leave their worldly things to their loved ones without being taxed. In short, it makes our relationships as equal and as legally binding as a straight person's relationship. How can any person who believes in love not feel anything but happiness that love triumphed over hate today?
So, my personal emotions are of joy, of elation, of true happiness in my government. And, well, one I move past the original emotions of the moment - of this win, I realize that I'm still sad, because the fight, and the struggle continues.
What it Means for "Right Now"
So what does this ruling actually mean? And what doesn't it mean? Well, in short, for somebody like me, living in Illinois where gay marriage is in fact still illegal, or my friends in Michigan where it is banned altogether, today's ruling does nothing for us. In fact, currently there are only 12 states that actually allow same-sex marriage - however the good news is that 3 of the signed on this year, which was a 25% increase from the 9 before this year. But think about that: 12 states in our union of 50 actually have legally, on the books, laws that allow two consenting adults in a committed relationship to legally enter into a contract with one another and share their lives. Contrast that with the fact that 30 states in our Union - YES 30 - actually have either constitutional amendments or other types of restrictive laws that actually ban same-sex marriage, or an alternative in some cases, altogether. Yes - 30 states actually LEGALLY discriminate against their own citizenry. Those citizens, those gay couples in those states, like the state I am in, or in Michigan, they still don't have rights. They can't marry the ones they want and they can't share in state or federal benefits if they choose to get married in the state they reside. They are still forced into a commitment ceremony which while having emotional meaning, has no legal binding.
What frustrates me further is that the Justices had an opportunity to end legal discrimination altogether with the Proposition 8 case. While they basically eradicated the fact that the lower court below them had no legal standing to take the case, and therefore let the even lower court below them and their ruling stand, basically allowing same sex marriage to continue in California, they avoided the broader question altogether. The Supreme Court today could have made, in sweeping precedent, the ruling that indeed indicated that states have no right to criminalize same-sex marriage, therefore removing from the books any law on state's books that had to do with same-sex marriage, effectively making it legal to marry in one decision. But the Supreme Court, in fact, avoided that ruling overall. They passed the buck down the road to another case, to another time. They left the decision up the individual states. And while I am eternally grateful that they didn't rule in the other direction (how could they, really), today's ruling merely said "let the states decide."
This isn't a state's rights issues anymore. Imagine if the same type of ruling had come out of the Civil Rights era - oh wait - it did. A little case call Brown vs. Board of Education was necessary after an earlier Supreme Court Decision - Plessy vs. Furgeson established that "separate but equal" was the law of the land. In Plessy vs. Furgeson, it was declared by the Supreme Court that "colored people" were allowed to have separate facilities like drinking fountains, bathrooms, restaurants, schools, and others, as long as they were "equal" to the "white" representation of the same service. States were allowed to enforce this law as they saw fit. I see today's Proposition 8 ruling as a Plessy vs. Fergeson type case. But here's the disturbing part - Plessy was decided in 1896, and it took until 1954 to overturn its decision. That's correct - it took 58 years to overturn the "separate but equal" states right issue in this country. So while my elation is clearly overflowing at the rulings today, I'm concerned - could it take 54 years for the Supreme Court to make another decision on gay rights? If we leave it up the states, there will be a large divide in this country of states that allow it, and states that don't. Our country can't take that type of division.
I want to comment badly on the fact that it took a 5 to 4 decision - but I'll leave that one alone. The fact that it is a majority decision is all that matters to me right now. What scares me is that 4 people in each decision, especially DOMA, feel that we should legally discriminate at the federal level. But I digress.
What it Means for the Future
The future...wow, I can't even begin to guess. What this means for the future is that marriage equality isn't going away. It isn't being silenced. I'll talk about framing the conversation in a minute, but the future is bright. Broad public opinion is on our side. The majority of America agrees, either by not caring what others do as a "government issue" or by true opinion that anybody should be allowed to marry any other adult they wish, that marriage equality should happen, despite what conservative talk shows tell us. A greater majority of 18 to 30 year olds believe even more. Generations growing up have the attitude of "seriously, why are we still talking about this?" The future is truly what we make of it. We need to continue these conversations - telling people why we fight for what we fight. What do LGBTQ couples miss out in terms of benefits? What are their adoption rights to children? What state rights are they deprived of simply because of who they choose to love? That information is still circulating as misinformation, and the conservative right still largely wants you to believe that somehow this is a "religious freedom" issue, and not a human rights issue. It will take all of us continuing to steer the conversation forward so more states adopt measures of marriage equality, until we get to a point where states doing on their own will no longer work, and the Federal Government through the Supreme Court will need to step in.
Framing the Conversation
If today's ruling did one thing for sure, it changed the framing of the message. It is no longer some progressive"fringe" issue. It's in the mainstream and it's gaining steam. Real life elected officials are going to be forced to choose a side. Presidents will have to make this part of their speech, and given that the majority of Americans see this as a "non-issue" anymore, it's time to remove it from the wedge issues that divide candidates and get them distracted from the real work at hand. Give the same rights to all Americans in this issue and we can effectively move on to the bigger issues - the economy namely. The message will continue to grow until it is finally dealt with. Today is just the start, it isn't a capstone by any means.
So in terms of framing the message let me say this - those of you who feel that the argument is still a "religious freedom" argument, get over it. Momentum is on our side. History is on our side. And now the Supreme Court is on our side. The public is on our side. Love is on our side. God is on our side (yes I said it). Love wins out. True, committed, loving one another, treating each other as we would like to be treated is on our side. And, just because you don't like it, doesn't mean it's going to go away. Instead, it's moving faster and faster. And the mobilization is affecting broad facets of our lives. News, media, food, jobs, culture - gay marriage is going to happen. And it's going to happen sooner than you think. And it's not going to be the downfall of civilization, and God isn't going to smite us, and when it's all said and done, we'll look back at it in 30 years and our kids will go "what the hell were you all thinking? What was the big deal?" And those that are on the wrong side of history will fade away realizing that you made it more difficult for the rest of us to progress as a culture, as a society.
So in the words of my brother this evening, celebrate tonight! We've definitely earned it. And then let's wake up tomorrow and continue the fight. Good night and good luck! I love you all.
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