As both a gay man and a born again Christian, I have to say that I am indeed troubled by what to think or what to say regarding this crazy Chick-Fil-A fiasco. A few days back I posted a story in regards to whether the idea of boycotting Chick-Fil-A truly was an effective tool against the organization, because boycotts in general typically don't work. Even one of the largest protests of our generation (Occupy Wall Street) has lost steam, and very little is getting done in regards to what we, the 99%, want to see done. But I digress on that point.
I am in the here and now on this issue. In our society, people of differing views are always going to exist. Those people of differing views are always going to speak out against something that we are for. Those people of differing views may even contribute their money to groups that agree with where they stand, which happens to be the very thing that we are against. This guy Dan Cathy, the owner and operator of a privately-funded fast food chain, does not believe in marriage equality. This is his right. He has the right to say this. Just as we have the right to disagree with him. He also has the right to fund whatever organizations he sees fit. And though we, as homosexuals, may disagree with each of these organization's agenda, there is no provision in our constitution that says that simply because a majority of people may disagree with somebody on their stance or how they spend their money, that somehow they have to stop doing so. This is why the Westboro Baptist Church, in all of their hatred and speech, is able to keep operating the way they do.
In the same vein, we as the LGBT community and our allies can choose not to eat at Chick-Fil-A because of the owner's beliefs. Or, as LGBT members and allies, we can choose to eat their because we also realize that there are a number of families and people supported by the work they do at that organization. In either case, this is our choice. And to ridicule somebody either way for making that choice I think is unfair and unjustified. I personally am thankful that there are no Chick-Fil-A's in the Michigan area, because I really don't know if I'd choose to eat there or not. But again, I digress.
And in that same vein, Christians, as a show of support have the absolute right to eat at their restaurant of choice, whether to prove some social point or not. Look, it's no secret that the Bible says what it says. Whether it's there because some King generations ago wanted to add something to it or not, or whether it is truly divinely inspired will be up for debate forever. Christians, whether born again, or just those who go to Church because it "makes them a better person" have their religious canon and can make a choice on how and why to interpret it the way they want to. I have a real problem with anybody who comes along (and I'm speaking to many of my LGBT brothers and sisters) and mocks Christians for their faith and classifies them all in the same category as some religious fanatics out to take away the LGBT's rights. When you do that, you are no better than some religious zealots who do the same to us. They classify us, as the LGBT community, as some perverted group of people who are sexually loose with our decisions, sleeping around, dangerously, with everybody we come in contact with. They stereotype us, just as many in the LGBT community stereotype Christians. In both cases, it is unfair and unproductive, and frankly every time I hear it, I am more and more disappointed with the person who does so, on either side, and I lose a tremendous amount of respect for that person.
I think what I'm trying to say here is - STOP. Stop to both sides. If homosexuality is a sin in a Christian's eyes, then so be it. I'm not going to change their mind. They have the absolute right to believe that, criticize people for living that life if they so desire. But, where their right stops is when their belief begins to infringe upon my rights as a citizen of this country. In the same vein Christians who do such things, your condemnations of your perceived view of people in the LGBT community are not going to have an effect on who we are. We believe that to be gay is not a sin. And, in our country, we have the right to believe that very thing. And you condemnation isn't going to change that. It isn't going to make us wake up one morning and suddenly change our orientation. Contrary to belief, and science backs us on this one - to be gay is not a choice - you are born with a sexual orientation, or in some studies, orientation is quickly developed within the first few months of development (long before anybody can make a conscious choice).
I think it's important to point out that history is on the side of the LGBT community here. I firmly believe that before the end of this decade that a decision will be reached by the United States Supreme Court on Marriage Equality. In fact, I believe that decision is going to be made within the next 2 to 3 years, with California's Proposition 8 finding its way to the Supreme Court. Just as the Civil Rights Act in the 1960's was a landmark decision for the African American Community, I believe the Court, conservative or not, cannot look at the facts of discrimination and rule against the LGBT community to have the same federal and state rights afforded to it under our constitution - whether or not Christians agree with it. If we look at history, it was the Christians who believed that it was their right to own slaves in the south. If we look at history, it was Christians in the south who wanted to deny blacks the right to be integrated into our schools and truly have the same rights as whites. If we look at our history, it was Christians who didn't believe that whites and blacks should be allowed to marry - as some abomination against God. But in all cases, it has made our society better. It has made us stronger because we have protected the rights of minorities in this country.
And let me be clear - not every Christian believed the things above. Not every Christian believed that blacks were inferior to whites. Not every Christian believed in slavery, or was against interracial marriage. In those fights, along with the fights for Marriage Equality for the LGBT community, we have Christians partners looking to make it better for everyone despite what their religious canon says. The fact of that matter is, this whole Chick-Fil-A fight has allowed the extremes of both groups to overshadow what the rest of us, in the middle, who are much more moderate and open to working together, truly believe. The extremes on the Christian side - the religious zealots - are getting more worked up believing they are helping to keep some sacred cause from being taken down by those "queers." While the extremes on the LGBT community look to all Christians and mock them, calling them hypocrites, and hate-mongers, and less-educated. Well in both cases my friend, I know both Christians who love me for me and accept me for me and who are wonderful people, and I know people in the LGBT community, like myself, who are also Christians, and believe the tenants of Christ. It's time for those of us in the middle, those of us who are moderate and can see that working together is the only solution, to rise up and carry the narrative from here on out. Let us drown out the extremes on both sides - because on both sides, their voices are carried with hate and intolerance for one another.
There is a reason that the rights of minorities in this country are not given to the majority to decide. If we would have had some national vote on the rights of African Americans in the 1950's, that vote would have denied them the same rights protected with the Brown vs. Board of Education ruling. When the rights of the minority or left to the whims of the majority of opinion, those rights are never fully realized. Our founding fathers knew this. In their wisdom, they ensured that the rights of the common person were protected. They ensured that the rights of all people were protected under the constitution. And though there were flaws in our fathers, especially in the area of slavery, they knew enough in advance that the idea of slavery was going to come to a head, and provided a way out - a way for us to modify our tenants as a nation through amendments to our constitution. I firmly believe that a vote in the favor of the LGBT community is coming soon, and I firmly believe that our rights will be fully realized despite the extreme voices of the religious community.
So, to bring this to a close - let me say this. I'm tired of the extreme voices on either side taking the narrative and running with it, with the audacity of speaking for all in their community. For those friends of mine on the LGBT side who feel the need to mock Christians and their beliefs and to stereotype all Christians as less-educated, hate-mongers, let this be fair warning, I will not tolerate it. I will choose to no longer associate myself with you. Just because we are brothers and sisters in the LGBT fight for equality, I do not support your method for getting there.
And let this be fair warning to my Christian friends. If you truly find hate in the fact that I am a member of the LGBT community, and you truly do not support my right to marry, I too will not tolerate that. I will choose to no longer associate myself with you. Just because we are brothers and sisters in Christ, does not mean that I will support your choice to deny me my federal and state rights under the constitution we all live.
To those of you on both sides, both Christian and LGBT alike (and allies too), who want to work together to ensure all members of our country have the same rights and freedoms regardless of religious affiliation, race, color, national origin, sect, sexual orientation, sex (or sexual identity), socio-economic status, or any other difference, I want to be your friend. I want you in my life because we can drown out the extreme voices and make the narrative about being positive and changing things for the better.
As always, comments welcome. However, heed my warnings - if your comments are filled with hate towards the other side, or somehow show me that you do not support my rights, I will not tolerate it. Please remove me from your friend's list now - because if you don't support marriage equality, then you don't support who I am. Thank you for reading.
